The Profound Impact of Connection

Bible Verse: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  Also, if two lies down together they will keep warm.  But how can you keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Eat your vegetables, drink plenty of water and get enough sleep. Our need for connection is as fundamental as our need for food, water, and sleep.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat – Mother Teresa

Brene’ Brown, in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” defines connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued:  when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

My heart longs for connection.  My favorite relationships are with groups like my Quilt Guild and with Small Group Bible Studies.  Why?  Because I feel like I belong in these places.  I don’t have to “try” to fit in, I just am who I am, and that’s perfect.

There is a difference between fitting in and belonging. Belonging is being accepted for who you are.  Fitting in is being accepted for being like everybody else. If I get to be me, I belong.  If I must be like you, I fit in. (Brene’ Brown)

I had a friend a while back that made me feel deeply connected.  Her friendship was like no other friendship I had ever experienced.  We just immediately hit it off.  We connected.

I want to share with you a gift that she gave me.  It was a letter that she wrote to me, and in it, she breathed life into my soul by showing me she had seen who I was, heard what I needed and valued who I was. So here it is:

“Laurie, You are such a deep and beautiful friend.  Loyal and true.  Precious beyond compare.  You are a truth seeker and speaker, for which I will be eternally grateful.  You are complex and layered, you comprehend the deep underworking’s and the superficial presentations and so much in between.  You are tenacious, yet patient and gentle.  Kind yet honest.  You intercede as only a true friend can.  You are heart and head.  Hands and feet.  Motivator and Incubator.  Tried and true.  Consistent.  You are my dearest and closest friend.  Forgiving and vulnerable.  Researching and creative.  Industrious and a team player.  Cheerleader, equipper, supporter, and instigator.  You are God’s precious creation, and what a perfect blessing to all of us. -M“

This friendship was the epitome of connection.  I share what she wrote to me, so you can identify what it truly meant for me to be seen, heard and valued by another person.  This was written to me over 7 years ago, and yet I still have it, hold it and treasure it.  Why?  Because the need for connection is that valuable.

God is the Father of connection; He created us to connect with each other and to connect with Him.  God teaches us by example how to connect with others by allowing us to be seen by Him, Heard by Him and Valued by Him.  We can then provide value to others by taking the time to see them, hear them and value them.

Every time I read this letter from my dear friend, I am moved to live a life that practices that kind of connection with myself, with others and with God.

Heavenly Father, we thank you that you have created us for connection.  To be seen by You is almost more than our hearts can stand, but never let us fall from Your grace and love!  Help us to reach out to others and to create a world of deep connections as You have shown us to do.  Amen