How to Find Joy in the Moment

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,  but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. Luke 10:38-42

How often do you find yourself caught up in the busyness of life and later discover you missed the specialness of the moment? Perhaps your desire to achieve perfection has ruled the day and, in a rush to make everything just right, you didn’t enjoy yourself.

In the story of Mary and Martha, we see an example of a woman consumed with making everything “just right” and is about to miss out on spending time, personal, one-on-one time with Jesus!

I get it, Jesus just showed up at your house for dinner, the table is cluttered with the remnants of the day, the floor is sticky with Kool-aid and your teenage son was the last one to use the bathroom, we all know what that means!

The struggle is real. Which role do I play at that moment? If you want to read more about the internal Mary/Martha battle we experience as women, I write about it HERE.

But for today, let’s look at how we can be a Mary and stop to enjoy the moment.

Being Present in the Present

It is a family dinner out at a local restaurant. We have a ten-minute wait to be seated. So, huddled in a corner, waiting our turn, we each reach for our phones. We stand there, just inches apart, heads bowed to the gods of the internet. We then get seated and are handed menus. We have a lively discussion about our food choices and recite our preferences to the waiter. Then we gather our devices and once again bow our heads to the gods of the internet while waiting for our sustenance to arrive.

If you are not this family, I know you have seen a family just like them at your local grub hub. Nobody is present in the present. Truth be told, if I am going to pay for dinner out, I want to enjoy the moment. To engage in good conversation and savor the atmosphere. I don’t want to waste the opportunity to be present.

But there are times when I do miss out because of distractions of the internet gods, worry about achieving perfection, or a lack of being aware of what is happening around me. Let’s look at some ways we can avoid missing out.

Let go of perfect

I want to do my best and offer my best to others. I want to be excellent at everything I do. Luckily, I have learned we can experience excellence without perfection. Listen again; excellence can be imperfect.

We lose our joy when our expectations are for perfection. It is not too much to expect your future, your health, or your relationships to be excellent, but we need to stop equating excellence with perfection. Letting go of perfectionism allows joy to be present in the present.

Perfection is fleeting; it is only for a moment in time. Look at the Olympic athlete who scored a perfect 10/10 score. That perfection was a measurement of the moment; it is not a lifestyle. Excellence can be maintained throughout your life. How you live your life determines your excellence. Let’s strive for excellence rather than perfection.

Be in the moment

We don’t have to go far to find an excellent example of a life lived in and for the present moment.

In the brief span of 33 years, Jesus accomplished more than anyone else I can think of. Did this happen through the practice of multi-tasking? Can you imagine Jesus texting His disciples while delivering the sermon on the mount? Perhaps checking his followers on Facebook while Mary sat at His feet waiting for conversation?

No one was more fully present in His time on earth than Jesus. How did He do it?

Being in the present moment, or the “here and now,” means that we are aware and mindful of what is happening at this very moment. We are not distracted by ruminations on the past or worries about the future but centered in the here and now. All of our attention is focused on the present moment (Thum, 2008)

Start by being a listener. Listen to the people you are having a conversation with. If you find your mind wandering or notice you are thinking about how you will respond, refocus, lean in, and listen.

If your thoughts are ruminating to the past, or wandering into the future, be mindful of this and take a few breaths and bring your thoughts back to the present. Notice what is around you and find at least one thing you can be thankful for in the now.

Ask yourself, “Am I present?” If not, bring your thoughts back around to the moment. One simple technique I use to recenter myself into the present is curling my toes — a simple and effective way to divert my attention from wandering thoughts.

Let’s close in prayer, asking for God to bring us back into our present moments of life and help us remain focused on what is happening right in front of us.

Heavenly Father, we thank you for being in our present moments. For always being in the here and now. Help us to let go of the past and not worry about the future. We want to take the time to enjoy the life you have given us and don’t want to miss out on the specialness of the moment. In Jesus’ name. Amen