Secure Your Identity in the Face of Abandonment

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

Did you have a security blanket when you were a child?  Perhaps, like me, you had a child who carried a special blanket, which made them feel secure, less alone. Our oldest son, Kyle, had to have four items with him at bedtime. His bottle, his boppy, his blanket, and his Barney (stuffed animal). When all these items were tucked in near him, he finally felt secure enough, and in good company and could settle down and go to sleep.

Insecurities weigh us down.

Insecurities can weigh us down and keep us from living the life God wants for us. Having a significant lack of self-confidence, a chronic sense of inferiority, or a powerful fear of rejection, or abandonment can threaten your core identity. It is time to stop Satan’s identity theft and secure God’s truth in your soul. You don’t have to settle for living with the emotional instability that results from insecurities. 

I have experienced identity theft for too long; I long for a solution as simple as a security blanket, a favorite soft animal, or a routine that will guarantee my security. But we have something even better; we have a Mighty Warrior who fights to save us from the lies of the enemies and who delights over us with singing. We have a God who will never abandon us, will fight for us, and not only loves us but likes us!

The Lord, your God, is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love, he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Three steps to take when feeling abandoned.

One of the greatest insecurities we can experience comes from the fear of being abandoned. I have a story of abandonment that shook and shaped me in ways that continue to play out in my life. But what I have learned is that when I feel abandoned, I need to rely on my faith, not my feelings.

Here are three steps we can take when the feelings of abandonment weigh us down:

1. Acknowledge the pain. David writes in Psalm 22:1:  My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? When we name the pain, we start to strip it of its power. God is not offended by us crying out to Him or even screaming out in pain. It is an act of faith to call upon the LORD in your distress, just like David did.
2. Remember that fear is a liar. If someone ignores you or leaves you, emotionally or even physically, remember this: The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9. Satan would like nothing more than for you to take someone else’s actions personally. He will spin the situation every time to make you feel like you are the one with the problem, the one who lacks something important or deserves to be left behind. Satan is a LIAR!
3. Contradict feelings with the truth. Take every thought captive before the Word of the Lord. Remember, truth is not what you feel. Truth is what God says. Let’s take Romans 8:35-39 and claim what God says is our truth, with our own names written in.

Who shall separate (Laurie) from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things (Laurie is) more than a conqueror through him who loved (Laurie). For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate (Laurie) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Remember that whenever someone or something causes you to feel hurt, confused, angry, or threatened, you have the right to acknowledge that pain, call Satan the liar he is and contradict his lie with God’s truth. The more you practice trusting God each day, the faster your security in Christ will grow. 

Heavenly Father, I often fear abandonment by those I love. In the past, I have held onto my hurts, suffered alone in my confusion, and stayed angry at you for threatening my sense of security. Today, I choose to believe you over the enemy and claim Romans 8:35-39 as a declaration of my trust in you and your promises. I know nothing will ever separate me from you and your love. I love you, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.