Living the Relinquished Life

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. Luke 22:42

This past month, we have had to relinquish many things we did not expect to have to give up. The Senior class of 2020 has lost their graduation ceremonies, weddings were canceled, birthday parties have been rescheduled or held virtually. Not only were our plans changed without warning, but our sense of security was shaken. What did you have to give up this Spring?

It took a pandemic for me to find freedom from the fear of losing a loved one. My husband not only contracted the COVID virus but also was hospitalized because of it. I found myself in a panic at the thought of losing the love of my life.

My prayers went something like this: “Dear God, please spare Richard.” “Dear God, you know I cannot live without him, please don’t take him from us.” “Dear God, the boys need their father, you can’t have him yet.” These desperate pleas for help cried out from a panicked heart.

But as acceptance to the reality of Richard’s situation sunk in, the prayers became prayers for healing and restored health. I aimed my arrow prayers towards specific targets of healing and repair of each part of Richard’s body the virus attacked. I was in full-on battle mode, and it felt useful to partner with God in my faith and do the work of prayer I was called to do.

However, there remained a voice in the back of my head that kept asking me this question: “What if God does not spare Richard his life?” “What if……Richard dies?” And, as we are fighting a very infectious disease, I also battled the question of, “What if we all die?”

There is always a sharp painful disillusionment to go through before we do relinquish. – Oswald Chambers

I became weak and weary in my prayers for Richard and I could no longer endure the alternations of hope and fear. I knew I needed to anchor my heart in hope. So, I knew it was time to enter into a Prayer of Relinquishment.

What is relinquishment anyway?

According to Dictionary.com, it means to give up, put aside or desist from; to relinquish a plan; to let go; release; to relinquish one’s hold. Relinquishment is giving up our right to something we feel we deserve.

A few examples of relinquishment from the Bible

In Luke 1:38, we see Mary’s response to the angel when told she would give birth to Jesus.

“I am the Lord’s servant, “Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

In this example of the Prayer of Relinquishment, we see Mary express a readiness to put aside her concerns to participate in God’s eternal plan.

In Genesis 22:2, we read how God tells Abraham to give his only son, Isaac, as a burnt offering.

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love – Isaac – and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

Relinquishing our rights to protecting and preserving the lives of those we love; might be the hardest Prayer of Relinquishment we can offer up. God knows and understands this, but when we invite God’s will to be done above our desires, we are promised the best of what God has in store for us. Can you imagine how much Abraham’s faith grew when he placed Isaac on that alter?

At the moment that Abraham tied up Isaac, the angel of the Lord stopped him and said “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

The final example I will give of relinquishment in the Bible, is that of Jesus, Himself. In Luke 22:42, we learn a new battle cry from the school of Gethsemane.

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

Christ could have avoided the cross. He could have used His influence to get out of the situation. Pilate wanted to release Him, and Jesus had plenty of time to flee. But instead, He went to the Garden of Gethsemane, bowed before the Lord in prayer, and left the decision up to His Father.

We must stop begging for our will to be done and follow Jesus’ example, the way of relinquishment, and make our battle cry “Thy will be done.”

The three actions to relinquishment.

In Gary Heese’s book Healing Beyond Counseling, he shares three distinct actions to relinquishment.

1. To loose one’s hold on something or someone. We must take what is precious to us and hold it with an open hand. It helps me to do a visualization exercise with this one. I imagine my “thing” as a small helpless bird in my hand, If I squeeze it too tightly it becomes injured, but when I loosen my grip, it can breathe on its own and survive. Yes, it now has the ability to fly away, and it might, but this is really the only choice if we want what is precious to us to survive. Can you see that?
2. To surrender a right. I deserve cannot become our mantra. We live in a world where our rights are touted as a self-earned commodity. But as Gary Heese says in his book, “When we hold on to rights we believe we deserved, it keeps us either stuck in the past or stuck in the unmet expectations of the future – both of which end up bringing us grief.”
3. Put aside a plan. The best-laid plans are those made by our Father in heaven. God has continually shown me how when life goes differently than I thought it should, He is not surprised or shaken by the change. When I put aside my plans and accept God’s, I learn that success can be my celebration, not my identity.

Control is an illusion. The only thing we can control is our own choices, and we don’t always do that well. Through relinquishment, we shift our focus from self to God and leave the door open for amazing things to happen. It leaves space for real hope.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

My prayer of relinquishment.

So, as I knelt before the Lord and held my open hand up to God, with all that was precious to me, I was able to surrender my rights to a guarantee of life and health, I was able to lay aside my plans for my future and finally make my battle cry that of, not my will be done, but Thy will be done. The God of all hope fills me with joy and peace as we continue to battle through the health issues of COVID-19. But through the Prayer of Relinquishment, I can hold on to hope that the One who loves Richard more than me, is the One in control.

Heavenly Father, if you are willing, take this battle from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

What I am listening to right now: Maybe it’s OK if I’m not OK, cause the one who holds the world is holding on to me – We are Messengers, Maybe it’s OK (Click HERE to link to song)

If you are interested in Gary Heese’s book Healing Beyond Counseling; you can purchase it HERE.

If you want to know more about anchoring your heart in hope, my book, A Warrior of Hope can help with that. You can order it HERE.