You’re Invited, But Not Really

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4:8-9

The truth is, I would rather we didn’t have company over. I don’t usually invite strangers to go to church with me. I rarely throw parties or even want to attend them. I have spent years feeling guilty about this. God has blessed us with a beautiful home, I love my church, and I know I should want to celebrate with you on your special occasion.

I feel like I must be a bad Christian since hospitality is a dirty word in my mind. I almost get sick to my stomach at the thought of having to plan for company or entertaining. If you have invited me to your party and I missed it, I am sorry, but the idea of making small talk makes my skin crawl. I fear Peter would be disappointed in me.

Stop feeling guilty!

Hospitality is more about the heart than the home. It is less about entertaining people and more about investing in people. Learning how to let people into your heart is a precious gift.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned about hospitality came by way of a dinner invitation from a friend. When I arrived at her house, I was immediately greeted by her five children and seated in the well lived-in living room, amidst the mayhem of toys. She then served me leftover chicken nuggets from the kids’ dinner along with a sippy cup of water. Ok, it was just the bottom of the sippy cup, the sipper was still dirty in the sink.

But what followed our quick dinner, was a precious conversation with a new friend that made me feel valued, seen, and important. She was not phased by her lack of a great tablescape, less than gourmet dinner, or even worried about the mayhem of toys. I learned that night that hospitality was about the heart, not the home or even the food.

Perhaps, just like the five different love languages, we each have a different hospitality language?

If you love planning the perfect party or drool over a great tablescape, then, by all means, incorporate those things into your style.

But for those of you who are a little more like me, an introvert who would rather stay home alone with a good book than go to a party. Or if you’re a person who prefers the uninvited guest to the invited guest, here are a few things I have learned about hospitality.

Hospitality is NOT the same as entertaining. 

When I read verses about hospitality in the Bible, such as the verse for today, I would feel pressure to host a dinner party, host a small group dinner or invite the unchurched over for cupcakes. Hospitality does not have to mean a dinner party with a homemade meal. It does not have to mean doing anything that does not represent your authentic self. Here are a few of my tips on hospitality in your own home, when you would rather hide in the bedroom with the family pet and watch Netflix:

• Focus on the people, not the food. Order take out or have a potluck.
• Don’t make a big to-do about it; keep the vibe low key. Everyone is more comfortable when you are your authentic self.
• Focus on small groups rather than large groups of people.

Take hospitality out of the home 

Introverts are notorious for hating small talk. But deep conversations are where we thrive. This is one of the reasons I don’t like going to social events where I won’t know everybody or will be in a situation where I have to make small talk. Here are some ways that you can take hospitality out of the home.

• Go out to coffee with a friend. Deep one-on-one conversation flourishes in these face-to-face interactions.
• Make a phone date. Scheduling a planned time to visit with someone over the phone ensures you will have the time to share your heart.

Bring hospitality to others.

This is where we can take our hospitable hearts to our schools, to our grocery stores, into the prisons, the shelters, and the streets. Here are some practical ways to do this;

• Donate food to your local harvesters.
• Pay for a meal for the person behind you at McDonald’s.
• Support your school’s clothing closet or backpack food program.
• Serve at a homeless shelter.

You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. Leviticus 19:34 (ESV)

Hospitality resides in the heart.

Hospitality is about so much more than a fancy tablescape, a Pinterest perfect meal, or a well-planned party. It is a matter of the heart. It is, above all, about loving others deeply.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4:8-9

Heavenly Father, teach me how to show hospitality to others while being authentic. I invite the Holy Spirit into my heart to teach me ways to be hospitable to those whom the Father loves. I permit God to interrupt my day with opportunities to show His love to others and to make time to love people deeply. Thank you, God, for giving me a hospitable heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.